or some reason, this spring I don't have such a playful mood. Maybe working too much. Went to store and I see the man's eyes focusing on me, - hey, yeh, I lost 10 pounds lately. But I have this strange feeling like I'm missing something here. Guess, it's time to remember I am a woman too, not just a weight loss consultant. I hope you have a hot Spring Time this year, losing all this extra pounds! Weight management is great, but we all know - guys are looking for more than a perfect body shape. I read this article written by some guy named Brandon, and I found it quite well done, honest and a well-shaped opinion. If you don't agree, shame on me. Sincerely, Joan.

1. Sense of humor. There is not one guy I know of who doesn't appreciate a girl who laughs at his dumb jokes simply out of a sensitive humorous bone.When a woman laughs, there is a beam of light that comes across a guy's face, and if the laughter is, say, from a woman across the room for another man, it has the power to make a man jealous. A man wants a woman's laughter. Humor is childlike energy and is like a billboard mounted to a woman's forehead that says "Open Heart!" Men feel it on a gut level. I'm not talking about faking a sense of humor, because inauthenticity will throw red flags. A person who laughs to gain some sort of approval is easy to mark. No. A woman sensitive to humor is a great find for a man. 2. Youthfulness. This goes along with #1 because it comes from a playful heart. When I say youthfulness, I don't mean age. I mean a state of being. Youth is an energy. You can tell a person who's had it ruff from the world and who has become dead inside, and somebody who is youthful and fresh and has kept their sense of self separate from the negativity of other people's opinions. A child playing on the play ground hasn't been corrupted by the world yet. All she cares about is playing in the sand, swinging on the swings and having fun this moment. She is fresh. I've been amazed when I see 18 year old girls who feel 40, and then when I see 40 year old women who feel 18.

3. Body language. Body language is 55% of all communication (vocal tone 38%, language 7%). Hips loose and tilted a bit forward, weight on the lower back, shoulders and upper back relaxed, chest present, chin up. A smile will show a man an openness on a gut level and no smile will show him "untouchable". It really depends on who you're wanting to attract. Body language is like a person's energetic pulse to the outside world telling the world if they feel good about themselves or like one is ship wrecked (the former being preferable to attracting more positivity) . Whether you love or hate her, Paris Hilton has awesome body language so if you like, check her out.

4. Emotion. The insecure man will be repulsed by an emotional woman, and the confident man will be attracted. Remember, this isn't about faking anything, like tantrum, emotional outburst etc. etc. but rather just allowing your yin nature to flow through you. Emotion is spontaneous. The unemotional yang is attracted to its polar opposite the emotional yin by the force of magnetism.

5. Patience. A rare quality of a woman is patience. Men are grateful of a woman who is patient with them because most women are simply impatient. I'm talking about the authentic, compassionate patience that comes from being relaxed. Men, the yang masculine, is path oriented, and when a man finds a woman who is patient with his path, "two thumbs up". Patience is also essential for man-handling (I'll explain in future posts).

6. Self-care. Beauty, hair, skin, makeup; the superficial things men adore. They are the more outward expressions of yin energy. I once heard from a past girlfriend "there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy one." Now where I think women go wrong in this department is they put all of their weight on physical beauty. When the leg is weak and they don't look that great today, their entire self image is destroyed. And when they look particularly great one day, their entire self image is built around it. Here's what I believe is needed ===> Balance, balance, balance. Put some weight onto the other leg of the inner yin as well. Physicality is only the most superficial, outward expression.

7. Intelligence. When I say intelligence, I don't mean book intellect or street smarts. I mean the ability to be creative when the situation calls for it. I'm talking about a woman who is present and here now. You can look into her eyes and tell that she is with you right now, not zoning off into space. She can respond to the moment. This is an ability that everyone has. Everyone is intelligent. It depends heavily on how open you are to your possibilities.

8. Not needing but wanting. Guys can smell out a needy, clinging girl which usually causes them to run. the other direction. And they can also sense a girl that wants rather than needs. Being needed will stroke a guy's ego and make him feel good, but there's a great possibility he'll freak out and run. Being wanted, on the other hand, will make the guy feel even better and he won't run, he'll feel compelled (unless he's a dumb ass). A girl that has the self-confidence enough to want, to desire, can be sensed on very instinctual levels. A girl who is free to choose to want to be around a guy rather than needing him is pure gold. Then adventure, playfulness and challenge arise naturally. It's a fine line between being a slave to need, or being free to want.

9. Nurturance. A man is independent, but likes to feel that he is taken care of as well. They say that every man's life is a journey to find the happiness he once felt inside the womb of his mommy. This is simply one of the most basic female instincts and most guys want that little bit of mommy in a lover. But not too much or both can get annoyed! And just like #8, this is nurturance out of want, not out of need… a fine line indeed.

10. Sexually adventurous. Sexual repression creates angry people. Nuf' said.

11. Love. A woman filled with love in her heart is one of the most beautiful things. She becomes fearless and hatred falls away. A woman who sees the world through loving eyes holds no enemies even if people dislike her. Love is not weak, it is power. This comes from meditation on the heart. Love arises out of relaxation and when that restlessness of needing approval falls away. Then love, most importantly self-love, comes up without having to do anything. Watch out for the guilt. Loving without any reason can trigger limiting thinking.

12. Integrity. A woman who has real values and sticks to them is like a beacon of light. I have been with enough women to know that most women are pushed and pulled by the wind at every moment. They have little security in life. This can be a good thing but from my experience it's done in an ill, dirty way. There becomes no stability to her at all and she lives life in the soap opera world. Integrity creates some sanity. Integrity is one of the few things you came into the world with, and its one of the easiest things to take for granted and sell for sparkly looking things.

Here's a simple list I suggest and follow myself:

a. Your health. Mind body and soul come first. Without you there is nothing else so you must be kept in good shape and happy. Meditation, exercise, yoga, social time, time with positive people, adventure, relaxation, Disneyland

b. Love. Love is one of the highest values. Love comes before pleasure although many people get them reversed. "Is it love or lust?" They can't tell because pleasure has always come first.

c. Freedom. You are nobodies slave. You are a free being.You are free to explore the mysteries of life without any shackles on your ankles.

d. Pleasure. Celebration comes naturally after all of these things come before. Most try to put pleasure as their number one. They will abuse their bodies to have it, weaken their integrity to have it and sell their soul to have it. Most people are not in pursuit of happiness, they are in pursuit of pleasure. But that pleasure is accompanied by pain. There's an endless rollercoaster of pleasure/pain when it becomes the number one value. However, pleasure comes naturally when it comes after some more important things.

I'm not saying this stuff will come over night. But the important thing to remember is that these things flow straight from the heart of Yin energy. Its the most thing in the world. The closer a gal comes to her natural core, her heart, the more effortless this stuff is. It's just a matter of how much garbage a girl has had to handle in her life.

With honor,
Brandon